I'm back.  Nope, that's not me in the photo.  I'll get to the photo in a bit.

First, I must say that I've allowed the opinions of others (or, what I think their opinions of me *must* be) to affect me so very deeply lately. 

I've been working closely with my eldest son, as we chose to homeschool him this year.  That, in part, has brought up a LOT of my own childhood memories flooding back.  They say our children are our mirrors.  It's the truth!

So, I've been dealing with memories of the past, my automatic reactions to my son's less-than-desirable attitudes, and figuring out just WHY I was reacting in such ways.  It's taken a lot of reflecting, a lot of reliving some pretty scary feelings, a lot of pain, as well as attempting to keep up on the day-to-day schedules around here.  I felt small, overwhelmed, anxious, hopeless at times, but what kept me going was that little spark of love, that deep down unconditional love for this, my family.

To learn and grow as an individual, and most importantly as a mother, I took on the task of dealing with my past "stuff", "baggage", and with the support of my husband, as well as Regina from Romancing Your Soul, I finally, just today, felt the fog begin to lift.  That heavy, dense fog of self-doubt, of constant worry, of heartache.  It's been a long time coming.  My heart feels lighter tonight.  Peaceful even.  That feels nice!

It's been a turbulent whirlwind around here, but with determination and a will to work together as 4 people on the same team, our family is STRONG and is going places!  And I as an individual feel much more secure and confident in myself.

So the yoga picture above, right?  OK, to tie this all in with fitness, I had fallen off the healthy eating wagon and am teetering on the very edge of the wagon with exercise.  Tomorrow, I begin logging on MyFitnessPal again.  This week, I begin a targeted, focused running workout plan.  Sub 55 min 10k by January 5, 2013, is the goal.  YOGA has been something I've enjoyed doing for quite some time now, but I've just recently really fallen in love with it.  So, I will alternate running and yoga.  I love Bob Harper's Yoga for the Warrior (which is only $5 on his website!) and Baron Baptiste's Abs, Back & Bliss.

My fire is back, and I feel good!

Oh, and if you're wondering about the blog title?  Check this:

Thank you to ALL those who have stuck by me throughout these crazy past few weeks; I honestly appreciate your support!!

~ Chandra

This is our family.  We are a blended family.  We've had our share of problems surrounding this situation.  How to work together as a family unit, show solidarity and defining each of our roles within the family unit.

Recently, we've decided to try a new approach.  One that aims to pull us together as a coherent, cohesive, cooperative family "team".  A family unit who genuinely cares about the goals, objectives, morals and values of each individual as well as the family as a whole.

It has two parts.  The first part was deciding on and writing down our family rules.  The rules this family lives by, in our house as well as out and about.  Here are our family rules, signed by each family member and posted on our refrigerator:

Next, we have a weekly family "meeting", which will be regularly scheduled for Sundays, when we sit down together and write down five goals each for the upcoming week.  These can range from things on our individual to-do lists, things with which one of us might need help from another of us, behavior improvement goals, weekly steps toward a larger individual or collective (family) goal.

We believe this will (and in its first week, has already started to) bring us together as a cohesive, cooperative team and drive us toward accomplishing things important to us, while holding us accountable to one another.  We have the opportunity to lift each other up, keep each other and ourselves on track, and if we ALL of us complete our five goals by the end of the week, we have a family reward, chosen at the family meeting.  We each have a small personal reward we can achieve, too.

Here is our first week's goal sheet:

Yes, little Thomas is just seven months old, yet he is absolutely included on our goal sheet each week, even from such a young age.  That way, it is not foreign to him as he grows older, and of course, because he is a big part of this family... TEAM!

I'm excited to see how this helps our family grow over time.  It's very similar to ideas I had as a child that just weren't implemented, because... well, I was only a child.  What did I know, right?!

Hehe... Let me know if you do anything similar with your family, or if you have any questions for me.

Have a great Friday!

~ Chandra

This was me in July 2010.  I made a promise to myself then, that I would get healthy and stay fit.  I lost 50 pounds before I got pregnant.

Today, our little guy turned 7 months old.  I'm still hanging on to approximately 5 pounds of "baby weight", besides the 20-25 pounds I have yet to drop to reach my "ideal" weight.  

This was me at the beginning of Jillian Michaels' Body Revolution.  Approximately the beginning of June 2012.

I lost approximately 10 pounds before I petered out on the whole workout system with about one and a half weeks to go.

I haven't taken any "after" photos and I was fairly discouraged by the measurements I took just days ago.  However, MY fault -- I stopped logging my food intake on MyFitnessPal, started eating pretty much whatever, whenever.

Honestly, I've been on another self-sabotage, self-loathing spree, while at the same time trying to unravel some of the knots that have led me to this path yet again.  Stuff from as far back as childhood.  A lot of reflection on the past and how I was raised, how I came to the conclusion that I'm ugly, unworthy, less than and undeserving.

Plus, add in a new school routine.  Our third grader is attending Indiana Connections Academy, an online public school from home, this year.  That means my husband and I are his "Learning Coaches" and we sit down with him every day to help him complete his lessons.

I also started a part time job outside of the home about three weeks ago.  So, needless to say, I've been SO busy, and pretty overwhelmed most of the time.

However, I've allowed all of this buildup to derail me from my fitness and personal health goals.  I am slowly getting back on track.  I've exercised more this week than in the past 3 weeks combined, and my husband and I have a 4 mile "anniversary" run in just over two weeks.  I must be prepared!

Our family has started a weekly "Family Goal Sheet" which is aimed to help us stay on track with our individual and collective goals, pull us together as a family team, and keep us accountable to one another.  We have a family reward at the end of the week to celebrate us all staying on track, as well as small individual rewards that generally don't cost any money.

In our first week, we've definitely seen improvement in our 8-year-old son's behavior and attitudes, and it has helped us parents stay on track with our work and aspirations.

This blog allows me to check off part of my goal list, as will two more runs before the week is through.  I'm committed to refreshing my fitness journey as I learn and grow as a person, letting go of past hurts that continue to resurface every time I self-sabotage.  I AM strong enough to get back on track and to love ME once again.

I have worked VERY hard to get to where I am today, and it's high time I realize just how strong, smart and sexy I really am, begin speaking more positively TO and ABOUT myself, and letting that compassionate confidence shine even more brightly than before!

Maybe I'll even post another blog soon with a new BEFORE photo -- the beginning of yet another adventure into fitness, health and exercise!  Right now, I'm really interested in running (of course) and yoga (strengthening + stretching! + meditation in motion -- love it!)

What has been YOUR biggest obstacle or hurdle to a healthier lifestyle?  Leave me a message in the comments section; I'd love to hear from you!

~ Chandra