Forty-Six & 2

I'm back.  Nope, that's not me in the photo.  I'll get to the photo in a bit.

First, I must say that I've allowed the opinions of others (or, what I think their opinions of me *must* be) to affect me so very deeply lately. 

I've been working closely with my eldest son, as we chose to homeschool him this year.  That, in part, has brought up a LOT of my own childhood memories flooding back.  They say our children are our mirrors.  It's the truth!

So, I've been dealing with memories of the past, my automatic reactions to my son's less-than-desirable attitudes, and figuring out just WHY I was reacting in such ways.  It's taken a lot of reflecting, a lot of reliving some pretty scary feelings, a lot of pain, as well as attempting to keep up on the day-to-day schedules around here.  I felt small, overwhelmed, anxious, hopeless at times, but what kept me going was that little spark of love, that deep down unconditional love for this, my family.

To learn and grow as an individual, and most importantly as a mother, I took on the task of dealing with my past "stuff", "baggage", and with the support of my husband, as well as Regina from Romancing Your Soul, I finally, just today, felt the fog begin to lift.  That heavy, dense fog of self-doubt, of constant worry, of heartache.  It's been a long time coming.  My heart feels lighter tonight.  Peaceful even.  That feels nice!

It's been a turbulent whirlwind around here, but with determination and a will to work together as 4 people on the same team, our family is STRONG and is going places!  And I as an individual feel much more secure and confident in myself.

So the yoga picture above, right?  OK, to tie this all in with fitness, I had fallen off the healthy eating wagon and am teetering on the very edge of the wagon with exercise.  Tomorrow, I begin logging on MyFitnessPal again.  This week, I begin a targeted, focused running workout plan.  Sub 55 min 10k by January 5, 2013, is the goal.  YOGA has been something I've enjoyed doing for quite some time now, but I've just recently really fallen in love with it.  So, I will alternate running and yoga.  I love Bob Harper's Yoga for the Warrior (which is only $5 on his website!) and Baron Baptiste's Abs, Back & Bliss.

My fire is back, and I feel good!

Oh, and if you're wondering about the blog title?  Check this:

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Thank you to ALL those who have stuck by me throughout these crazy past few weeks; I honestly appreciate your support!!

~ Chandra