I'll Never Forget You

I'll Never Forget You . . .

It's been nearly a week now, and I still don't exactly know how to take the news.  It was right at the start of a really busy week that we learned the news, and so I had to quick-process and decide that you would want me to carry on with plans and responsibilities as normal (or as normal as possible while already quietly dealing with some level of PPD, anxiety and general sense of overwhelm).

Now that we're through the incredibly hectic week, I've had some quiet time to process further, and I felt your presence this morning, encouraging me to use my blog platform to process, to flow through the grief, to not allow myself to get stuck in sadness or anger, to honor your greatly kind and encouraging soul. 

This is my tribute to you, Jeni McLeland Stearns.

You knew me as a very young girl, as the niece of your good friend, my aunt.  We lost contact until Facebook came along, we connected as friends, and quickly developed a strong, loyal and honest bond, though we never did get the chance to reunite in person, at least in this lifetime.

You were the first to support my Team Beachbody endeavor by becoming a coach yourself, right alongside me, as although that venture didn't pan out in the long term for either of us, I was so encouraged by your belief in and support of me, that I began to believe in myself that much more.

Though you battled your own anxiety and PTSD issues, you were always one of the first to offer someone else (often me) when they were suffering too.  I thank you for your beautiful role in my various groups (mainly Fitness with Friends and Anxiety Support Group) - your presence will be missed and your absence will be honored with our sharing of memories of you.

I'll never forget your excitement and support when I joined the Pillai Center, Tripura Foundation and Nambu Herbs teams, becoming not only a more avid student of Dr. Pillai, but also part of one of the kindest, most compassionate, positive and supporting team of coworkers I could have ever imagined. 

You knew exactly how much it means to me to be able to be at home with my babies while also providing an income for my family, plus doing my part to make a positive difference in this world. 

Though you had only just experienced your own devastating miscarriage, you were overjoyed at the news of my pregnancy and the birth of our daughter.  You told me you saw something special in her.

And you supported both my husband and me in all our ventures, big and small. 

You were one of our biggest cheerleaders, and now you're one of our closest guardian angels. 

As you always told those closest to you, thank YOU for being you.

I'll never forget you. I don't want to, either. Along with the great sadness that comes from missing you lives a universe of gratitude for having shared love with you at all. Our connection changed my life. I'm honored to be able to miss you. - Scott Stabile

If you knew Jeni, please leave a comment below sharing a memory of her. Many heartfelt condolences to all who knew her bright and beautiful soul.